so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
