why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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