shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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