I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
