i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
