Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
