oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
