Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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