Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
