I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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