when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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