there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
