His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
