i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
