I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
