he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
