with your own penis?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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