So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
