having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
