Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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