i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
