I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
