today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
