Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
