Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
