I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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