Sry I called you an 8
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
