The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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