I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
