How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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