you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
