remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
