i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize