You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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