When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
