Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
