I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
