Who wears a wallet chain?!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
