i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
