If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
