I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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