well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
that's an acceptable place to lick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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