I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
