so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
