yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
