she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
