well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
