Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
