There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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