how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I skipped work to stalk him.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
