She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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