well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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