Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
