I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
